On my way to my appointment, I texted said picture to friends and posted on a message board to my neighbors, asking for help identifying the snake. Most agreed it was poisonous, and that I should stay away from it. Once I got to my appointment, my hair stylist...yep, it was a hair appointment, so very urgent you know. Anyhoots...she recommends that I call animal control 4/
I immediately call animal control, and the conversation went something like this:
Me: I need HELP! There is a rattlesnake in front of my houssseeeee!
Animal Control: Ma'am, if the snake is outside, we don't come out. It will go back into the woods eventually. However, if it makes its way into your home, please call us back.
I decided that animal control wasn't worth my tax money, and vowed to start a campaign to defund them. (Just kidding...not really) . 5/
In the meantime, my friends and neighbors are recommending that I contact a wildlife organization that does snake removal. So I do...I get their voicemail which recommends that I text them instead. I text them, and tell them that I need the poisonous snake removed from my house, or I will be forced to burn it down.
They ask for a picture, which I provide. The wildlife contact disputes my cottonmouth theory and instead suggests that it is a brown snake, and that I should get a closer pic 6/
Uhhhhh...say what? Get closer to it? I don't think so. I leave my hair stylists with my new do, and reluctantly head back to my house. I'm almost there, when one of my friends calls to see what I'm up to on a saturday morning.
"Oh not much", I say. "Just got my hair done, and now I gotta go ninja on a snake."
Here is where it gets really good. I send her the pic, and she goes...."I can't really see it, but it does look like a snake." 7/
I tap into my inner Steve Irwin. After all, I'm an adult. I can handle this! So I tip toe a little closer and take a pic to send to her.
My friend: Sis, that looks like a wasp nest.
Me: You're insane! I can see the snake's head! It's tiny, but I see it!
At that moment, I also see a wasp fly into a nearby bush. 🤔 8/
At the same time, the wildlife org sends me another text inquiring about the snake.
I tell them never mind and leave to head to lowes to get paint supplies and some wasp spray.
On my way, I get a call from my neighbor. Apparently a man showed up to my house to remove a poisonous snake, but didn't see one. Instead, he saw a pretty good sized wasp nest, and thought he'd get rid of those for me while he was there.
I then get a text from the wildlife org confirming this activity 9/
The woman assured me that I shouldn't feel stupid...yet....you know.
So that's my story ladies and gentlemen. My friends stuck by me in my time of need. I discovered a new breed of snake which I refer to as the wasp snake.
I gave a few people a hell of a laugh early on a very hot saturday morning.
I realized that I need better glasses and to temper my wild imagination 😂 The end.
Oh...I've attached a pic of said snake. Enjoy! 10/10
Had wasps try to build nests outside my old house a couple of times.
Pretty fun to stand 30 feet away and shoot them. Had one fly right at me. Blam! Dropped.
Let the bodies hit the floor.
@baldilocks I just had my roof replaced on Wednesday, which would explain how the nest ended up there. I still can't believe the workmen just left it there....
Those who label words as violence do so with the sole purpose of justifying violence against words.