#mojo50 #whatilearnedtoday proud member of the #jackholenation.
“The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.”
1. Don't be a jerk. 2. Keep the talent happy. 3. Always come clean. 4. It's not offensive if it's true. 5. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.
When I first started dating my wife, she asked me what some of my dreams were. I told her one about a T-Rex who didn’t get a job because he couldn’t tie a tie.
She meant goals.
When I die, I want to be cremated. It's my last chance to have a smokin' hot body.
It’s been raining for days now. I caught my wife watching me staring at the window and looking depressed.
I overheard her telling the kids, “if it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.”
What type of bear is toothless? A gummy bear.
What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell.
What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.
Educating the “Educator”…..
Fresh parmesan cheese is great, Olive Garden not so much LOL.
Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
My wife said “You act like a detective too much, I want to split up.”
I said “Good idea. We’ll cover more ground that way.”
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!
Those who label words as violence do so with the sole purpose of justifying violence against words.