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I know this is mostly a political place but I'm going through some personal turmoil and I need words of encouragement. I guess I don't know where to go for that. Anything? Please. ๐Ÿ’”

ยท Mastalab ยท 25 ยท 7 ยท 22

@mariel if not your own kids or biological parents... I can offer some excellent advice.
Let me know. Xo

@mariel Just hang in there! Things get better even if they suck right now.

@mrbungle
I don't know. Distraction, words of encouragement, humor?

@Theliefie1
I had a basset hound... terrible at fetch. She would go after the ball and then get distracted by some smell. ๐Ÿ˜‚
@mrbungle @Angela @umad80 @masterblaster

@mariel

Well, I love my family.

I love them a thousand miles away!

@mariel

But really, give them space if they need it.

Give yourself space if you need it.

You can't help people who don't want help, and you can't help people if you are a wreck who doesn't take care of yourself.

If things are really bad, people need to find their own bottom and there is nothing you can do about that as awful as that is.

We endure because we must and life is always better than it can seem in a down moment.

Love.

@mrbungle
Thank you. I'm seeing that now. And I don't want to be dragged to their bottom.

@mariel

I'm am so sorry. That's a terrible place to be. Remember who they were. They may there again.

@mariel big glass of cold water ,sit back, assess, close your eyes. Watch a road runner cartoon. Totally ignore anything I said. THAT is the best advice I can offer. ๐Ÿ˜‚

@mariel
I'm not awesome at emotional stuff, but I am a damned fine listener. :)

@mariel

Once I saw mountains angry,
And ranged in battle-front.
Against them stood a little man;
Aye, he was no bigger than my finger.
I laughed, and spoke to one near me,
"Will he prevail?"
"Surely," replied this other;
"His grandfathers beat them many times."
Then did I see much virtue in grandfathers --
At least, for the little man
Who stood against the mountains.

--Stephen crane

@ThomasWic
That made me cry... I think I need to cry. Thank you.

Why are people so cruel?

@mariel humor?

This is my fave. (Wanted to post initially but had to ask if it was parents or kiddos first. We have to put up with them๐Ÿ˜‚)

Anyone else ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿป

@mariel @ThomasWic

People are cruel because they are people.

All people are bad.

Some just recognize it in themselves and fight mercilessly to keep the evil at bay.

In everything there lies a choice.

@capnjoe
That what can hurt. I get that it's a choice but I don't see it as that difficult of a choice. Being a good person isn't really that hard.
@ThomasWic

@mariel @ThomasWic

It's exceedingly difficult.

Hence religious parameters.

And self-help.

@mariel @capnjoe @ThomasWic

On the contrary, being a "good person" takes much more effort and commitment than being bad

@cimarron
Hmm. I need to ponder this more. When I think back to any bad behavior I've done it always seem like it was so much work and took tons of energy.
@capnjoe @ThomasWic

@mariel
Mariel, I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time right now.

You may be having a difficult time because you can't reconcile how someone could act or do to you what you would never do to someone else.

This shows you are much better than who or whatever is causing you turmoil. Take comfort in that instead. Tomorrow is another day, and you at least have a conscience.

@mariel
Things will improve, but you have to do the right things in response to the situation to make the improvement go faster. If you don't work for improvement it can go the other direction too.

Sometimes it seems like there is nothing you can do at all to help make a situation better, but it's not the truth, that's allowing too much emotion to overrule your 'let's get down to business' logic.

Think calmly, rationally, investigate, research, then act.

@Watcher9
Yes. I need this. I need to do something different. I guess I've been scared.

I watched something the other day that said with trauma often the person doesn't actually identify what caused it but they react to it unconsciously, they fear something will happen. But most likely what we fear has already happened... I'm realizing that now. My fears have already come true... I guess now it's time to move on.

@mariel
Even if your worst fears are realized it's not too late to mitigate them with some positive actions.

I'm confident that when you think about it long and deep, you'll know just what you should do.

Unfortunately, trauma shapes our lives quicker and deeper than positive things do. That's my experience anyway, but I can't let it stop me from moving forward. I have to move foreward, there is just no other choice, so I choose to move forward constructively.

You will too ๐Ÿ˜€

@mariel @Watcher9 Fears are not FACTS. I tell myself this all the time. Question your fears and ask "is this truth or just fear?". Find the truth and BELIEVE it.

@lisapretzel @mariel
Fears can be self fulfilling prophesies if you let them.

The way to beat them is with thought and action.

@Watcher9 @lisapretzel @mariel Someone once told me, "Fear of the future is an illusion. You don't know what's going to happen yet. Life is a mystery, and things usually work out."

@Watcher9 @lisapretzel @mariel Also, "Learn how to dance in the rain." He is a good friend and went through a horrific time with a nearly fatal illness. He said to learn to be grateful every day for at least 3 things and really notice the good times as they are happening. It's a process, he said. Things don't come together all at once. Just take it one day at a time. I hope that helps :)

@mariel @Lisa22 @Watcher9 I'm thankful that so many responded to you with comfort and friendship, good words and prayers.

@mariel @Watcher9
Very important point. Explains a lot of the obsession, that things will go wrong. I use this, when I talk to german friends about Trump, but its very deep-routed.

@JustDJ
That's amazing you posted that! I just learned about HRV and downloaded an app to track it (Welltory). I didn't realize it was a trial period app. I might pay for it now reading that article.

@mariel You are not alone. You are never truly alone when you have the humility to reach out.

@mariel

Hi Mariel.

I've had family issues, too. Over several decades. I only recently got free of them, by realizing some things and acting accordingly.

I'm happy to share whatever I can in the hope that it helps you.

Ask me anything.

@mariel
I fear words might not be enough, telling you everything will be OK seems superficial yet (talking from experience) even in the most miserable moments find your inner strength, be confident that time does heal wounds, it will get better. God has given us the strength to survive the unthinkable, every scar you get along the way is just one more badge of honor proving you've made it. Life is indeed beautiful.
Someone out there & in this forum is thinking of you & wishing you the best

@mariel

Maybe this will help?

Psalms 69:16-18
Answer me, O LORD, for Your lovingkindness is good;
According to the greatness of Your compassion, turn to me,

And do not hide Your face from Your servant,
For I am in distress; answer me quickly.

Oh draw near to my soul and redeem it; Ransom me because of my enemies!

@mariel

I am praying for you right now and I will offer my bedtime rosary for you as well. Be gentle with yourself as you move through the turmoil. You are not alone.

This Rilke piece has always brought comfort and perspective to me in times of unrest. I hope it resonates with you:

goodreads.com/quotes/164255-ho

@mariel
2 things that help me get thru bad times:
1. as time goes on, its usually not as bad as it seemed. So I try to think about what will things look like in the future
2. if the problem is money, then its not a problem (took me almost 20 years to figure this out)

hope these help - hang in there

@mariel

Nighttime is always the hardest when your heart is broken. The day is stressful and then by evening we can no longer cope. Right now it may feel like the world has ended. Be kind to yourself. There are people who love you and people who are waiting to love you. Try to get a good nights sleep. Each morning feels a little better than the day before.

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