Her resemblance to Beaker grows by the second.
"Ambassador, how did Trump's references to his calls with Zelensky make you feel?"
"Mi mi mi mi miii. Mi mi, mi mi miiiiiii."
"Yes, that's just awful. What about how he's trying to weaponize US diplomacy against Biden?"
STORY TIME with a few shots of bourbon 🥃
1) Well, impeachment's about to start again?
Well fuck that noise.
Crack open the bottles.
Drop in a bit of ice.
Pour in the bourbon.
NO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MIX ANYTHING ELSE IN THERE YOU FUCKING BARBARIAN! PHILISTINE! HERETIC! IT IS BOURBON ON THE ROCKS.
18) Then, they'd say, "OH FUCK THIS SHIT," tell their buddies who would say "OH FUCK THAT SHIT," and then they'd start running, resulting in a panicked stampede of people trying to GTFO.
Facing an army of bronze muscle gods with a wall of spears that you can't kill? Fuck. THAT.
19) I'mma leave you all to chew on that for a bit and take a quick break. Gotta feed this hot dripping knowledge in digestible chunks after all.
15) No. The walls of spears and shields were meant for the hoplites to keep themselves save and their opponents at a safe distance, perforating any asshole that tried to dive in past the forest of spear points.
16) This unassailable formation would make the opponents at the front start backing up as the Greek hoplite phalanx advanced, pushing the guys behind them which were in turn trying to push the guys in front forwards.
4) Alright, so now that we have the pronunciation down, let's talk about the hoplites.
Let's look at the hoplites you're all actually familiar with: Spartans from 300.
5) "But fuuuuuudge, those aren't all Spartans, there's those other greek dudes there too."
You're right. And I'll get to them. Because they're a real and important part of the Greek army. But first, I want to say this: 300 did not do the Spartans justice.
2) Today, I'm going to tell you all some fucking stories.
Yeah. That's right. Bourbon story time.
The topic of the bourbon story time?
Hoplites. Fuckmothering Greek Hoplites.
3) First off, did you know, that the way we think its pronounced (Hop-lights) is actually incorrect? No, there's a more accurate and far fucking cooler way to say it.
Just pronounce hoplites in your heads as hop-lee-tays, and you'll be like 10x cooler than before.
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Tell a friend
Those who label words as violence do so with the sole purpose of justifying violence against words.