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The Obamas' mansion is retarded.

Currently the craze for the über-wealthy is pure-white interiors.

The kitchen looks like a sarcastic art installation, a morgue-church.

What a lovely view of the breakwater.

And the lawn mowed with a steamroller.

God almighty.

A $15-million monument to tackiness.

A Swiss chalet wicked-witch castle.

More of the steamrollered lawn.

Look at all the wasted space inside the house.

High ceilings are for primitive people with no taste.

They're like the land-diving towers of New Guineans. The higher the ceiling-tower, the more significant the person.

That's nice. A backwards fireplace for heating the entire outdoors.

And it's made of crappy imitation paving stones.

A seawater swimming pool with undergrowth scratching against your shoulders when you sit on the chaise lounges.

This place will require round-the-clock maintenance.

Trees next to the pool means leaves in the water every day, and the shingle roof will have to be repaired yearly.

OH MY GOD.

Look at the CABLES with turnbuckles, like in the engine room of a freighter.

NICE.

And everything that isn't glaring white is the exact color or cement or Asiago cheese.

If this table were filled, nobody could hear anybody else.

And at nighttime, all the windows would be reflecting back at you.

It would be like being in a funhouse, except without the fun.

Ugliest ceiling ever built.

Totally institutionalized, like in a mental hospital.

Again, nobody could hear anyone if they sat in these chairs.

Everyone would have to scream.

Nobody could sleep a wink in this horrifying master bedroom.

Freezing-cold floor, like a paved road, and demented angle to the ceiling.

It would be like being outside and inside simultaneously, in a dystopian city from a Joker movie.

Sure. You're going to sit in these chairs in your master bedroom and read or talk.

No. You're going to spend the least amount of time as possible in this place.

This Asiago-cheese color would drive anyone insane.

You'd start smelling cheese everywhere you went in the mansion.

This entire area would need refinishing every year.

You'd have workmen and women at your house every single day, all year round.

The party room!

Nothing like cement-gray to put guests in a festive mood.

And a final glimpse of the steamrolled lawn.

The Obamas got SCREWED.

Funniest thing I ever saw.

Parvenu: a person of obscure origin who has gained wealth, influence, or celebrity.

END

@ThomasWic

Your descriptions are perfect.

No comfort or beauty there.

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@ThomasWic

I'm thinking of a very naughty phrase to describe this ...but parvenu works fine.

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@ThomasWic

Thanks for sharing the pictures of house. Every talk Michelle gives is peppered with disdain about white people but yet she wants to surround herself in white in her house.

The house does fit their bland personalities.

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@ThomasWic

This is the woman who chose this house. It rather suits her style...or lack thereof.

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@ThomasWic now that you have pointed out, I hate everything in that house except the greenery

@ThomasWic

Everything is either round or slanted...

Terrible all around!

@ThomasWic
Some of us in Wisconsin appreciate cheese & the COLOR of cheese😡,
& who doesn't LOVE high ceilings? 😜
If you were offered a room in this house, you'd teleport yourself over in an INSTANT.
💨💨💨💨
I thought I'd read that the Obamas never closed on this mansion.

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@ThomasWic this thread wins the internet for the week! There was a program in the UK called Through the Keyhole in the 80s where a pseudo posh presenter would go through some posh twat's house and at the end would be the reveal of who it was. This thread is like an epic parody of that show, especially if read in Lloyd Grossman's voice as a Brit. Wonderful stuff Mr Wictor!

@ThomasWic

Not going to talk about the oddities and ugliness of this house. But like you are pointing out, this house and how everything was built along with it's location would be a great ongoing expense.

Frankly the Obama's don't bring in a revenue stream like a CEO does where these ongoing expenses can be maintained.

So of course you're right, they got SCREWED. Let them enjoy the taste of celebrity, it's going to be joyful watching it all ripped away from them.

@ThomasWic

Hmmmm - reminds me of the exclusive palatial mansion of Isabella Rossellini from the movie,”Death Becomes Her.”
HAHAHAHA

@ThomasWic And what will it look like after the Secret Service gets done with their security? Will they bulldoze the nearby homes? Checkpoints, over-watch, fences, barricades and perimeters.

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@ThomasWic Awe, look at that, the home of a humble hard working family.

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@ThomasWic There are almost as many Greek columns as there were on his nomination acceptance stage.

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