My poor MIL is declining rapidly. She has some kind of problem with her lungs and breathing is getting harder and harder despite all treatments. FIL says she's very anxious and struggling. She has lost so much weight she looks skeletal and frail. I feel so awful for them. This decline has been brutal and unrelenting. And they still don't know what the illness actually is.

Prayers going up. God's blessings to you and your family

@Mongo3804 When my FIL says 'anxious' and 'palliative care' I wonder if he really means 'terminal agitation'. The use of the word 'palliative' suggests hospice to me. :(

@Chotiari @Mongo3804 palliative care is "making you comfortable". Whatever drugs you need to be at ease are provided. Usually only provided near the end.

@TimToolMan @Mongo3804 thank you. It’s pretty much what I expect. We know she hasn’t a lot of time. If her inability to breathe properly is making her anxious (how could it not??) and if there is nothing that can be done for her lungs...

@Chotiari @Mongo3804
I have cancer, so I have studied up on what the future holds in order to be prepared. My wife thinks I'm morbid but I take comfort in preparation. My cancer is very slow growing, and the doctors tell me I should have at least 10 years. The life expectancy for fat old men of my age is not much better than that anyway. So I have prepared and now plan to live like it doesn't exist.

@TimToolMan @Chotiari @Mongo3804 I am 3 years cancer free. Doesn't mean that it won't come back and next time it will be worse. Just trying to enjoy what time I have left. 10, 20 or even 30 years who knows enjoy it while you can.

@icrewhelos @TimToolMan @Chotiari
Amen my friend, you also will be on my prayer list. God's blessings to you and your family

@icrewhelos @TimToolMan @Chotiari @Mongo3804 I'm 2 yrs cancer free. Each year when its mammogram time, I'm on edge. It would be clinical trials for me if there was a reoccurrence.

@stephanieanne @icrewhelos @TimToolMan @Chotiari
My prayer list is getting bigger but i gladly pray for you all. Glad to do so as I've had a lot of folks pray over me and i too will need more someday. God's blessings to all

@Mongo3804 @stephanieanne @TimToolMan @Chotiari I pray for all whom I have conversed with. Whether they want it or not. It's always nice when they do.

@stephanieanne @icrewhelos @Chotiari @Mongo3804
I too get an annual scan - a little lower than yours though. I do mine with a specialist in Denver- scan one day and meet the doctor the next to discuss, so not a long wait. There is a new scan available but my insurance won't cover it. Maybe next year. Surgery is an option but it's very invasive and I could have a colostomy bag after- that's a last resort type deal to me. It will come back always as well.

@stephanieanne @icrewhelos @Chotiari @Mongo3804
God has been good to me though. Almost 4 years since my last surgery and I live a normal life. I can't eat some foods, and I have an occasional flare up, but most people would never know anything is going on. I can still out work most people if I decide to - that is a mental thing more than physical.

@TimToolMan @stephanieanne @Chotiari @Mongo3804 I have a ostomy bag. I hope to have surgery soon to get rid of it but if I don't I can handle it. My other problems are more of why I can't do much. If you ever get a bag I can show you how to manage it so that you can do things and not worry about messes.

@icrewhelos @stephanieanne @Chotiari @Mongo3804
I'm pretty squeamish- don't even want to think about it. God bless you and help you with your health. Life brings us burdens we never expected, and God gives us the ability to handle those burdens if we let him. My mom was very religious but she couldn't let go of stress and worry. It killed her- she died of an aneurysm while visiting a friend in the hospital with a terminal illness. I wish she could have learned to let go - let God help.

@TimToolMan @stephanieanne @Chotiari @Mongo3804 it is not as bad as one thinks. I see people at the VA who do not take care of their bags as they should and yes it is nasty then. If you take care of it it is no big deal. The doctors and nurses are always surprised by how good my stoma looks. God has made that possible by giving me a wife who helps change my seal. It's just another function of the body now.

@icrewhelos @TimToolMan @stephanieanne @Chotiari @Mongo3804 My Mom was diagnosed in her forties. She had a colostomy.She passed at 67 massive heart attack. In that time the cancer never returned.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻To you all.

@TimToolMan @Chotiari @Mongo3804 Excellent attitude. Plus the healthiest person on this planet is not guaranteed a tomorrow. You, having that control over your mind and spirit, I bet we shall be communicating way past the 10 year mark. That is if this fat old man makes it that far! You are on our prayer list brother.

@TimToolMan @Chotiari @Mongo3804 I would like to provide some clarification on palliative care or now more favorably called ‘supportive care’ for those who are living longer lives with cancer or other long term illnesses. There is much benefit from engaging resources early to help you live a full life. I found this website that summarizes it nicely. I too, send prayers and hope.

@Romano704 @TimToolMan @Chotiari
I realize I'm 16 hours late seeing this but i do want to thank you for posting this. God's blessings to you

@Cdubois My FIL has asked my husband to go sit with his mom this weekend if he can find time. He will find the time. I don't know how to help my husband, much less my FIL. I'm just as lost as they are. I'm just slightly apart.


I'm so, so sorry. Praying for answers, and healing. God bless you all. 🙏🏻


Hate to hear that about your MIL. I watched my step, who at 6’2” 195 lbs, was an avid sportsman, and a hard working man, wither away to skin & bones. When he first learned of his cancer he was told he would live about two years. BUT, It went into remission and he lived another 17 yrs. Then it came back in his late 70’s and he passed on shortly after. For those fighting cancer now I will remember you guys in my prayers. God can, and He does work miracles!

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